All His Secrets (Manhattan Misters Book 1) Read online

  Derek pulled the SUV up to the curb. He’d tailed us on our little walk since Esme was back in the apartment with Rachel. As I closed the car door, I caught a flash of electric purple coming up the station stairs. Melanie. She glanced around and hurried off in the opposite direction.

  “Follow her.” Derek pulled into traffic and the slow progress made it easy to follow her as she wove her way through the salt and snow slicked streets. The crowds thinned out and the people on the streets transitioned from starry-eyed tourists to hollow-faced addicts. I shook my head. I hadn’t thought I could be so wrong about Melanie. Disappointment hit me that I’d been so far off the mark when it came to her. It wasn’t until she darted inside a large converted church that I wondered if I was wrong. A faded sign over the door read, ‘Women’s Mission Coalition.’ Does she volunteer here? She hadn’t come to score, she’d come to help.

  I hopped out of the SUV and strode inside. The stagnant smell of stale coffee, bleach, and floral air freshener packed a pungent punch as the door closed behind me.

  “Do you have any beds for the night?” Melanie asked the woman behind the scratched and scuffed Plexiglas.

  “I don’t think so, hon,” she said. Melanie hung her head, her shoulders slumping. “But let me check.”

  I stood there completely stunned, my feet glued to the ground. She wasn’t here to help, she was here for a place to stay. Waitresses didn’t make much, but she shouldn’t have to go to a homeless shelter. My mind wandered to all the things that could happen to a person down on their luck without a place to stay in the city. The blood pounded through my veins and my fingers tingled. I fisted them at my sides. She didn’t even entertain the offer to work for me. She brushed me off. She’d rather spend her nights in a homeless shelter than with me?

  “Melanie, what the hell are you doing here?” I said, louder than I intended, my anger getting the best of me. Melanie jumped at the sound of my voice as both women whipped their heads around toward me. Melanie’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. The color drained out of her face as she stared back, her eyes wide.

  “I…I…” she stuttered, grasping for the words to explain what the hell was going on.

  “I’ll donate one hundred thousand dollars to the shelter if you don’t give her a bed for tonight.” I reached for my wallet.

  “What the hell are you doing here? How did you know I was here?” she said, snapping out of it.

  “I followed you.” I waited for her reaction. Her eyes got comically wide and she gripped onto the strap of her bag with both hands.

  “Why would you do that?” she said through gritted teeth.

  A loud buzzer went off and the woman behind the counter opened the door beside the desk.

  “Do you need to come in, sweetheart? Come on in. We’ll find something for you.” She motioned for Melanie to join her on the other side of the door, safely tucked away from me.

  “Should I be offended, Melanie? You’d rather spend the night in a homeless shelter than with me and my daughter. A nice warm bed in your own room. Safe and sound.” I advanced on her. She stood, rooted to the spot, her eyes pinned on me.

  “Melanie, honey, come inside.” The woman held the door open and took a step out.

  “Three hundred thousand, if you don’t give her a bed for the night.” I kept my eyes on Melanie. She sucked in a breath, her eyes bouncing from me to the woman.

  “You can’t buy us off and we’re not going to turn someone away who’s being threatened. Melanie, come in. He can’t get you in there.”

  “Ms., I don’t know what it is about me that might have screamed abusive boyfriend or husband, but I can assure you it’s not the case. I’m simply a potential employer for Melanie and I’m a bit shocked she didn’t let me know how dire her situation was. I would’ve easily solved this little problem of hers.” I stared at Melanie, who averted her eyes. She ducked her head and her shoulders rounded as she folded her arms around herself. Shame. I knew it well. It burned in me so many times over the years, but I didn’t like the way it looked on her.

  “Why don’t you tell her, Melanie?” I said, sure the woman had called the police on me before stepping out into the doorway. Melanie glanced up at me again and back at the woman.

  “He’s not my boyfriend or anything. He’s not a threat. I—” She gulped. She took a breath, closing her eyes. “I was embarrassed. And I’m pretty sure he’s good for the donation too, so I would make sure I got his info. I’m sure it could do a lot of good here,” she said, forcing a smile and glancing around at the peeling paint and tattered chairs in the lobby.

  “I’ll just go,” she said, trying to skirt around me. And that was the final straw. I was done being Mr. Nice Guy. My mask slipped and it was all her fault. I grabbed her elbow as she tried to pass by me. Not as her friendly neighborhood escort, but as a man who wasn’t going to let her get away.

  “Don’t even think of walking away from me, Melanie. If you do, I have half the mind to put you over my knee and show you just how serious I am,” I said, my mouth a hairbreadth away from her ear. I felt the tremble race through her, but when I looked in her eyes, it wasn’t fear I saw, it was something that made me want to push her up against the nearest wall and show her how serious I was. This woman toyed with me and I didn’t even think she knew she was doing it. The power shifted somehow and now I was left grasping at what remained.

  “You are not going to walk off into the cold night when I know you’ve just been visiting a homeless shelter, so you obviously have no place to go. You’re coming home with me. Now.” There was no argument here. I slid the mask back and turned to the woman in the doorway.

  “Thanks so much for being so helpful to Melanie. I truly appreciate it and I’ll be sure to have that donation check sent over first thing tomorrow.” My plastic smile slid on as naturally as it ever had. It was second nature by now. When in doubt, smile in a wide toothy grin like a fucking idiot. I was aware of the effect I had on the woman. A hint of a smile tugged on the corners of her lips. I kept my grip on Melanie’s elbow in case she tried to bolt.

  “Tell the woman thank you, Melanie,” I said into Melanie’s ear. She shivered again and I knew she didn’t want to cause a scene. Didn’t want to draw more attention to herself. I’d use whatever tricks I needed to get her where I wanted her. How I wanted her.

  The woman in the doorway crossed her arms over her chest and I opened the door, the frigid air blasting us. We stepped out and Melanie glanced over her shoulder at the woman.

  “I’m fine, really, and you know what. I think Mr. Thayer is feeling extra generous tonight, so why not double that donation,” she said, smirking up at me. Cheeky, very cheeky. I waved to the woman and she waved back, dumbstruck. I kept my hand on her and the door slammed behind us as we went down the stairs, which were bathed in strobing blue and red lights. Derek spoke with the two squad cars that pulled up while we were inside. I gave the officers a wave and they eagerly waved back.

  “What the hell was that?” she said, ripping her elbow out of my grip and rounding on me.

  “Get in the car, Melanie,” I said, advancing on her. She took a step back, her hands fisted around the strap of her bag. And she looked pissed. I relished her anger, her venom. She’d seen my mask falter and hadn’t run away. But I didn’t know how she’d react if she got more than a peek.

  10

  Mel

  He was insane. Not eccentric. Not unconventional. He was fucking insane. Who gives away money like that just so someone doesn’t give me a bed? A bed that probably wasn’t even available. I kept running over it in my head and it didn’t make sense. There was only one conclusion.

  Rhys Thayer had lost his mind. I’d decided that during the car ride across town and cemented it in my mind as we rode up in the elevator to his penthouse apartment. The elevator only had one button. PH. This elevator was nicer than most places I’d slept over the past year. The warm wood and brass covered the entire thing. There was even a mini chandelier
hanging from the ceiling.

  I wondered if I could just camp out in there overnight. Being in the confined space with him wreaked havoc on me. He stood perfectly still, but reminded me of a caged animal. Power poured off him in waves as he tapped away on his phone like I wasn’t there. Like he hadn’t stalked me to get me here.

  The doors slid open and he stepped out, leaving me plastered against the back of the elevator. The brass handrail warmed up under the death grip I had on it. But I didn’t have much of a choice about where to go. I knew the shelter proposition wasn’t going to fly and I really didn’t want to have to find a random place to sleep, so a penthouse wasn’t the worst place to end up tonight. I didn’t know exactly what Rhys had in mind. He seemed pretty adamant about me coming. Is this just for Esme?

  “Don’t make me come in there and get you, Melanie,” he said, as he shook his coat off and laid it across the table by the door. I tentatively stepped out, my white-knuckled hands wrapped around the strap of my bag. I still didn’t know what I was doing here. Well, other than the fact I’d have to sleep on a park bench tonight if I hadn’t come with him and the fact he didn’t seem inclined to let me go. The patter of small feet came from the hallway and Esme launched herself into the room and wrapped her arms around me for the second time that day.

  “You came,” she said, her face buried in my stomach. “Daddy said you’d be coming over today. I’m so happy.”

  I threw a glance over my shoulder and Rhys quirked his eyebrow at me, as if to say, he was right, wasn’t he? Did anyone ever tell him no? Could I?

  “Hey, Esme. How’s your day been, kiddo?” I said, crouching down in front of her and tousling her hair.

  “Good, really good now that you’re here. Daddy said he’d be able to get you to come, but it was so late and I didn’t believe him.”

  “Your dad can be pretty convincing when he needs to be, kiddo,” I said, and Rhys chuckled before disappearing down the hall.

  “Come see my room,” she said, tugging me along.

  I spent the next couple of hours in Esme’s room with her showing me pretty much every toy a kid could ever ask for. Her room was bigger than Jeanine’s apartment. It wasn’t until she let out her third yawn and her blinks got slower that I suggested she get ready for bed. She scampered into her bathroom and brushed her teeth before changing into her pajamas. I kept checking the doorway and had even ventured out a few steps into the apartment to look for Rhys, but he’d disappeared.

  Esme climbed into bed, a book tucked under her arm, and I tucked her in. Faint memories from a time I’d tried to forget flittered through my mind as I sat on the edge of the bed and read her the bedtime story. As I turned the last page, her soft snores made me smile. She wore herself out.

  “See, you’re a natural,” came a voice from behind me.

  I yelped, nearly throwing the book across the room, and glanced down at Esme. She didn’t move a muscle. Rhys leaned against the doorway, shadowed by the darkened hallway.

  “Come with me. I’ll show you to your room,” he said before disappearing back into the hall.

  I stood, unsure my knees would hold me as I followed him out into the dark hall.

  My room. A place for me. I wondered if the nightmares would follow me there.

  How was I going to tell him I shouldn’t stay? I couldn’t stay. Where else do I have to go? Maybe just for a few nights, until I figured something out. As much as he thought I was a natural, I’d had to fight episodes of panic throughout the night with Esme. She was so happy. So incredibly happy with everything in her room. She loved showing it to me. She didn’t have a care in the world and my heart ached for all the kids out there, like me, who would never know this peace, comfort, and ease growing up. She had more at six than I’d ever had in my entire life, except for one year I’d convinced myself was a fever dream of a deprived kid. It made things easier that way. Better to pretend it never happened than be crushed that it had.

  Even with that jab in my gut and pang in my chest, watching her in her world prancing, dancing, and laughing, so happy made me smile. I pushed away my own pain and reveled in her joy. She was a great kid. A kid who deserved a lot better than me looking after her. But I didn’t know how to convince him of that.

  I trailed behind him. His muted steps reverberated through me like anvils dropping. His pull made me want to lean into him, speed up my steps until I could breathe him in. The other part of me wanted to make a run for it and never look back. I could tell he wasn’t a forgiving man and I was bound to disappoint.

  He led me through a couple of turns before he opened the door in front of him and flicked on the lights. My breath caught as I stared past him into the room. The plush cream carpet looked soft enough to sleep on. There was an oversized reading chair next to the window in the corner piled with green and blue pillows.

  The floor-to-ceiling windows showcased the entire city like a moving picture frame. And there was a new coat lying across the bed. It was purple like mine, but that was where the similarities ended. Everything about it screamed warm and comfortable.

  He pushed the door open wider and motioned me inside. I cautiously poked my head in. He didn’t move, so I brushed against him as I made my way past. Every cell in my body was completely aware of every point of contact our bodies made. His freshly laundered smell hung in the air as I passed through his wake. I made it out the other side, nearly gasping for air, but I couldn’t push down the temptation to look back. When I did, he was so close our lips almost touched. With the heat from his body against my back, I shivered as he spoke.

  “This room comes with the job. It’s not much, but I hope it will do,” he said, his minty breath caressing my ear. The heavy, foreboding press of his body against mine made me wonder if I’d ever been around a man before. He was a man unlike any I’d ever encountered before and I didn’t think I’d ever encounter again. The pulsing pounding raced through my body like I’d never experienced. He hadn’t even touched me, not really, and I was already addicted. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted his hands on my body, running across my skin, tickling the flesh between my thighs.

  I bit my lip, put my hand against the wall to steady myself, and took a step away. His heady presence was enough to make me forget everything that had ever worried me. Make me forget anything but the two of us in this room. Him standing so close to me, his eyes boring into me, devouring me. It was so easy to forget who I was outside of these walls when he looked at me like that. I couldn’t afford to forget. Things like this didn’t happen to me. Nothing good ever happened, without me smashing back to earth more bruised and battered than before. I already had enough damage to last me a lifetime.

  “I brought your bag in. Come with me and I’ll show you the rest of the apartment.” He slipped out of the room and I felt like I could breathe again. I was torn between locking the door until morning and following him wherever he wanted to take me. But that didn’t seem like a request and I had no doubt he’d be coming after me if I didn’t comply.

  “Here’s the gym.” He pointed through the half glass door. A treadmill, free weights, a few weight machines and other standard gym items lined up neatly against the wall. I almost walked past when the dancing blue light caught my eye.

  “There’s a pool?” I whirled around and my eyes must have been as big as saucers. He chuckled. The sound made me smile wide.

  “There is a pool. Do you want to see it?” He pushed the door open. I wasn’t even going to try to play it cool.

  “Wow.” I sat on the edge of the pool with my pants rolled up and my feet dangling in the water, staring at the lights of the city. “This is amazing.”

  “The apartment certainly had its perks,” he said, standing behind me, his hands shoved in his pockets. I don’t think I ever could have imagined a place like this existed high above everything going on down in the grime of the city. The floor-to-ceiling windows wrapped around the whole apartment. I was a bird perched on a ledge outside watching everything pass
by. It certainly made the city feel a whole lot calmer. Like anyone up here was the master of their domain. Maybe it was why Rhys felt that way. So in control of everything. When you were staring down at the city street watching everyone scrambling up from your tranquil perch how could you not feel like you owned everything you could see?

  “Ready to continue the tour?” He held a big fluffy towel out to me. I grabbed it and dried my feet. I’d forgotten I still hadn’t seen the whole place.

  Everything in the apartment fought for my attention. There were lamps with stained glass lampshades. The bookshelves were filled with leather-bound copies of books I imagined cost more than I could make in a lifetime. The artwork on the walls looked like it belonged in a museum and when I read some of the nameplates below a few of the frames, I saw I wasn’t far off. On loan from the MET. Who the hell could just borrow something from the Metropolitan Museum of Art? Rhys Thayer, that’s who. Every room held something unlike anything I’d ever seen and the most intriguing of them all was Rhys.

  Every glance, every brushed touch, every word had me on edge. The heat behind his gaze should have sent me running from the room, but it didn’t. It wasn’t like the leering of someone like Roy. He stared at me like he wanted to possess me, not use me. His gaze held the promise of things I’d never experienced before and my mouth watered to try them all. I had never had someone look at me like that. Like I was someone they couldn’t wait to get their hands on. Like someone they needed to be close to.

  I just didn’t know how long it would last. Am I just a passing infatuation? Does he sleep with all the other nannies? Look at them like he’s looking at me? I didn’t believe I was someone so special it made him sit up and take notice. So why did I want to be near him when he had the power to destroy me with a word? I guess I hadn’t learned my lessons about flying too close to the sun.