All His Secrets (Manhattan Misters Book 1) Page 4

  I paid Jeanine a portion of the rent, I wasn’t a freeloader, but I wasn’t on the lease or anything. This time I couldn’t roll over. He’d never been this close before. His cheap cologne filled my nose and made me want to puke. As my eyes adjusted I saw his arm working up and down on his dick. His sweatpants were pulled down in the front and he stroked himself, staring right at me. I yelped and jumped up onto the couch. There was nowhere else for me to go. He was too close.

  “What the fuck, Roy?” I bellowed, my heart thudding in my throat.

  “Just lie back down, Mel. I’ll be finished soon,” he said, still palming his dick, like it was completely natural for him to be jerking off in front of me while I slept. My stomach turned and my fight-or-flight instincts went into high gear. It was the same nauseous dread I lived through so many nights growing up.

  He took a step toward me and out of instinct, I hit him as hard as I could right in the nose. As much as I wanted to, I didn’t knee him in the balls. He’d probably like that.

  “You fucking bitch,” he said, with his hands over his nose. Blood spilled out from between his fingers and I held my hands out, ready if he came after me.

  “What the hell’s going on out here?” Jeanine walked out of the bedroom and froze, taking it all in. I gulped past my constricted throat.

  “Jeanine, he—”

  “Why the hell is your dick out, Roy?” she screeched.

  “Jeanine. I was sleeping and when I woke up, Roy was sitting on the table with his dick out.”

  “She’s lying, babe.” He finally took a step back from the couch and cupped his hand over his nose, blood covering his lip.

  “What?” I shouted.

  “I was just walking to the bathroom and she called me over to the couch.” He took Jeanine’s hand in his. She tried to tug it away, but he held on to her.

  “That’s a lie.” I got off the couch, my feet sticking to the peeling laminate flooring. He kept talking like I hadn’t said a word.

  “She said she had something to tell me and to sit on the table. I did and she stuck her hands down my pants and pulled my dick out, babe. I swear.”

  “You’re a fucking liar, Roy. I would never. Jeanine. I would never,” I said vehemently.

  “You know how she’s always been. When I told her no way that you’re my girl and I don’t want anyone else, she punched me in the nose.”

  Angry tears prickled in my eyes. Jeanine looked from him to me.

  “You know I love you,” he said, laying it on thick, and I saw the moment she decided she’d rather believe the lie than face the truth. She reached up to cup his face in her hands.

  “Are you okay, babe? Let me get you some ice.” She skirted around him and got some ice from the freezer. She avoided my gaze the entire time. I rushed into the bathroom and didn’t come out until Roy’s heavy footfalls thundered across the floor and the door slammed. He was gone.

  I came out of the bathroom and Jeanine leaned against the kitchen counter holding her coffee mug staring off into space. She glanced over at me. Her reddened eyes tracked me as I grabbed some clothes out of my bag. I didn’t know what to do. What do I say? I told her that her boyfriend was a total creeper. What was left? I knew all about what happens when you tell a woman who doesn’t want to hear it that her boyfriend came onto you. It doesn’t turn out well.

  We worked different shifts that day and the next and I’d been on an apartment hunt every spare minute I had. I didn’t have any money for a deposit. My account had been drained. I needed to go to the bank and open a new account. The promises I’d been given that the money in there wouldn’t be touched without my permission were obviously worth nothing.

  Every apartment I found was way out of my price range or filled with creepers. Weren’t there any decent people left in the city who didn’t need an arm and a leg as a deposit?

  “Hey, Mel. Can I talk to you?” Jeanine pulled me aside by our lockers and fidgeted with the hem of her white apron, picking at the stray threads around the edges. Her chipped red nails caught my eye with each flick back and forth. She was nervous and her nervousness twisted my gut.

  “Morning, Jeanine,” I said, trying to keep my voice as level as possible.

  “I thought I could put what you did behind me,” she said, clutching the mug in her hands. I closed my eyes, my pulse pounding, and my hands shook. “It’s okay. I know what a catch Roy is, but he’s not going to stray, Mel. And you throwing yourself at him—”

  My brain did a stutter step. Coming onto him? After what I told her. After what she saw?

  Shame crawled all over me, souring my stomach. I hung my head.

  “I’m going to need you to leave soon,” she said, not even looking the least bit angry. That told me all I needed to know. She knew it was a lie. She worked through every possible scenario as to why it wasn’t him. Why it was her fault because she couldn’t keep him happy. Why it was my fault for coming onto him or existing in the first place. I’d seen it all before and I knew no matter what I might as well say it to a brick wall. She wouldn’t see until she was ready, if ever. It had been good while it lasted, but now it was time for me to go.

  “I said I need you out today.” Thud. It hit me so hard I staggered back a step. Today. I know she said soon, but I thought she’d at least give me a week. I willed the tears that prickled the back of my eyes not to form. By sheer will, I choked them back.

  “Roy has to be out of his apartment and, well, I think this is a really great step for us in the right direction. I think it means he’s finally getting serious,” she said hopefully. It took everything in me not to scream in her face about what an idiot she was. I fisted my hands at my side.

  “Can I at least leave my stuff in the apartment for a bit?” I said, running my hands through my hair. Shelters weren’t exactly safe places to have your belongings, no matter how meager they might be.

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea. I brought your duffle with me. It’s next to your locker.”

  I closed my eyes and tilted my chin up at the ceiling. Take a breath. Take a breath. I repeated the mantra. This was why I didn’t let people get close. It only ended in disappointment and pain. How fucking sad was it that everything I owned could be shoved into a duffle bag and dropped off anywhere. Here, I thought Jeanine was kind of a friend, her horrible taste in men aside. She was pretty much the only friend I had in the whole city and that hadn’t done much for me.

  “Back to work, ladies, I don’t pay you to yap,” Martin called, leaning out of his office door.

  I unballed my fists and brushed past Jeanine. She called out what sounded like an apology from behind me, but I just kept going. I needed this job and I didn’t need to get fired for knocking out a co-worker. I stomped over to my newest table and repeated my mantra again. Breathe. I opened my eyes at the same time a small body slammed into me, tiny arms wrapping around my waist.

  “Mel!” Esme said, bouncing up and down in front of me. The tight ball in my chest unfurled a little. Her enthusiasm was exactly what I needed right now.

  The kid could put a smile on anyone’s face. I couldn’t say I hadn’t thought about her since the day I found her—well, she found me. And I peered in the booth at the other person who’d run through my mind since then. Someone came into the diner for me to sign a bunch of NDA stuff, but other than that I hadn’t heard from him since that day.

  Rhys stared at me with a look I couldn’t quite place. Breathe. When he looked at me like that it set my skin aflame, the scarlet flush traveling up my neck. Get it together.

  “Hello, Ms. Bright,” he said, his voice pouring over me like honey and his eyes boring into mine. The way he said my name, it almost felt like a dirty word. A word you shouldn’t say in public, let alone in front of a child. Much better said with my legs wrapped around his head. Okay, down, girl.

  What little research I’d done on him let me know it was in my mind. This was a man who commanded audiences with heads of states and royalty. The
women on his arm at events ranged from supermodels to movie stars. He wasn’t here for anything more than humoring Esme.

  “I signed all the papers you needed me to. I’d never tell anyone about what happened. Kids wander off. It happens,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

  “Yes, I know you signed the papers and I appreciate your discretion,” he said, his cool green eyes boring into mine. His words wrapped their way around me, weaving up and down my spine. “It’s always difficult to find people who are willing to do the right thing and not take advantage of a situation,” he said. His voice entranced me and all his words seemed to have more meaning behind them.

  He was trouble. Trouble for someone like me who didn’t know anything about a man like him and wasn’t brave enough to try to tread water in the deep end where he lived. The waves he made were more likely to drown me than any man I’d ever been around before. Not that there had been an invitation. I wasn’t in his league. I cleared my throat and my mind.

  “What can I get you two?” I said, dropping my eyes to my notepad. Esme tugged me down to her level. I crouched and she cupped her hands around my ear.

  “Hot chocolate,” Esme whispered, sliding back into the booth and grinning up at me. She had on another cute ensemble that probable cost more than a month’s rent. I returned her smile. This kid had an infectious energy.

  “And for you?” I said, taking a breath and looking at him again.

  “I’ll have the same,” he replied, handing the menu back to me. My hand gently brushed his and I nearly dropped it. I needed to get it together. Stop losing it over a guy who’s not thinking twice about you.

  “Excellent, two hot chocolates coming up.” I left their table and got their drinks. A late breakfast crowd poured in not long after and things picked up for a while. I got them another round of hot chocolate before they left. Disappointment panged in my gut that I hadn’t been able to talk to them a little more, but other tables beckoned and I needed the tips. I really needed the tips.

  I spent the entire shift trying not to think about what the hell I’d do tonight after my shift. Maybe I could convince Martin to let me work a double. Unlikely. The overnight shift was territorial about their late-night regulars. A hotel, even a hostel was way out of my price range right now. I wanted to wrap my hands around Colleen’s neck and strangle her for stealing from me. But that meant I’d have to be in the same room with her and I’d managed to get out of that for nearly five years.

  I didn’t know if I’d be able to get into a shelter tonight. They usually filled up early. I collected the tip from my last table and checked the time. Maybe I’d be able to swing it, if I headed out now. I ran to my locker, grabbed some stuff, and decided I’d be better off leaving my duffle there. At least it would be safe for tonight. I burst out the back door into the alley and skidded to a stop when I saw a dark figure leaning up against the brick wall right across from the door.

  My heart thudded in my chest, fear flooding my body, and then I looked closer. Rhys. He looked so completely out of place in the dingy alley, in his long, probably cashmere navy coat and gloves. He was so shiny and new, I swore I could smell his freshly laundered clothes from here, even with the dumpster less than five feet away. And as out of place as he looked, he seemed completely at ease, like his evenings were often spent hanging out in alleys behind diners waiting for waitresses to get off their shifts.

  But I didn’t have time for him right now. The complications in my life turned my simmering headache into a throbbing one. I needed to keep my feet firmly on the ground and right now I needed to get to the women’s shelter and see if they might have a bed available for me. How’s that for some reality?

  “Ms. Bright, I was wondering if I would have to come in there after you,” he said, pushing off the wall. His movements were purposeful and calculated. I wondered if there was anything in his life he didn’t have complete control over. Then what he said sank in and I scrunched my eyebrows trying to figure out why he waited here for me at all.

  “I’m not sure why. My shift only ended five minutes ago and I am kind of in a rush. If you need me to sign some more papers or something, you can have someone drop them by the diner and I’ll sign them later,” I said, taking off toward the street.

  “I’m not here about any other papers.” He trailed behind me. His footsteps echoed off the walls of the alley.

  “I don’t have time for small talk. I need to get to my train,” I said, trying to shake him. I was going someplace he’d probably never been unless it was for a photo op for a donation or something. The shame and anger burned in my gut that I’d be spending the night in a shelter or on a bench.

  “No problem, I’ll walk with you,” he said, falling in step beside me and sliding his hands into his pockets.

  “It’s okay. I’ll be fine. I’m just heading to the train.” Please leave me alone, so I can beg for a bed without you watching.

  “I insist,” he said. His tone brooked no argument and I zipped my coat and kept walking. The shelter was ten blocks from here. I wasn’t going to tell him that. I’d promised myself the last time I was in one that I wasn’t going back. Life sure had a way of kicking you in the fucking teeth. I gripped the strap of my bag as I hustled down the street, Rhys right beside me. As we walked I seemed to get knocked into by every single person in my path. With him the world took notice and moved out of the way as he stepped forward to walk ahead of me.

  He had his own gravitational pull that forced people to bend to his will, whether they noticed it or not. Noticing the crowd didn’t have the same aversion to jostling me, he put his hand on my elbow and guided me through the crowds. Obviously, his power worked by proxy and I was safe in his bubble. People didn’t dare bump into or jostle you in the bubble. Even through my jacket, I felt the heat of his touch on my skin. I didn’t know if it was real or imagined, but it made my knees a little wobbly as we wove our way through the streets.

  “Esme really likes you, Melanie,” he said, keeping his eyes straight ahead. It was the first time he’d said my first name and it sent a shiver down my spine.

  “I like her too. She’s a good kid. I hope she didn’t get into too much trouble for wandering off,” I said, glancing over at him. He had amazingly long and thick eyelashes. I found myself staring at them, observing him out in the wild. Out on the streets like a normal person, but he was anything but normal.

  “She didn’t get into too much trouble, but she knows not to repeat it again. Which station?” he said, glancing over at me. I stumbled. Shit. I needed a station.

  “The 33rd. I’m heading to 33rd.”

  He nodded and took the next right. I sped up to keep up with him. He seemed to notice and slowed his gait.

  “I have a proposition for you, Melanie,” he said as we walked. The word proposition did all kinds of crazy crap to my stomach.

  “Esme is quite taken with you. Enjoys your company and you have her talking, which makes you a miracle worker in my book. I’d like you to come work for me as her nanny.”

  I stumbled again.

  “Her nanny,” I squeaked. I barely liked kids. I didn’t think I should be in charge of the wellbeing of one. I mean, I was nice to them and was okay being around them for short periods of time, but I wasn’t nanny material. My bag was not filled with gumdrops and rainbows. It had some crumpled one-dollar bills, old gum wrappers, and every bobby pin that had ever been in my hair. Not a single musical number or umbrella to be found.

  “Yes, I think you could be good for her.”

  What really stopped me cold about the whole thing was the thought of a background check. It soured my stomach and made my palms sweaty. He’d absolutely run one on me, if I came to work for him. And probably not just a standard one, but a crazy in depth one that would tell him every cavity I’d ever had. I didn’t need that kind of poking and prodding into my past. I didn’t let myself think too hard about my past on most days.

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea. I’m no
t really good with kids.”

  “You’re good with Esme and that’s all I care about,” he said like it was an open and shut case and it probably was to him. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to go through life with so much certainty. I didn’t even know where I would get my next meal. Well, it would probably be the diner, but other than that, my life was up in the air. I knew there were some things that were certain in this world, but I knew they were far outside my reach.

  “Rhys, Mr. Thayer. I don’t think it would be a good idea. I’m sure there are tons of people who would be a better fit to be Esme’s nanny.”

  9

  Rhys

  She didn’t want to take the job. Perhaps it should provide me a bit of solace to know she wasn’t jumping at the chance to become Esme’s nanny. To me, it meant she wasn’t a user. Most people saw an opportunity like this as a chance to bilk me out of as much money are they could. She stood beside me with the purple coat that didn’t look anywhere near thick enough for the plummeting temperatures. A freak snow storm this early in the year and her coat looked like it was on its last legs. She needed a new coat and she needed it now. I made a mental note to have Rachel arrange for one to be sent to her room. She didn’t know it yet, but she wasn’t going to turn me down. I wouldn’t give her the choice.

  “I think you should find someone else. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now and I don’t think you have time to deal with that kind of stuff,” she said, taking her elbow out of my hand. I glanced down at my empty hand and back at her. I shoved my gloved hand back in my pocket, her warmth gone. “I really appreciate the offer. I do. But I think you’re going to need to find someone else.”

  She bolted for the station entrance. I watched her scurry down the stairs to the station. I wasn’t quite sure what to think of her at this point. I’d read her file. I knew her background and someone like her should have jumped at the chance. But she turned me down. Now, she turned it into a game. And I always enjoyed a good game and knew this would be one I’d be sure to win.